WHEN THE MOON HATCHED - Sarah A Parker

3.5 stars

When the Moon Hatched was equally interesting and unwieldy. It was a very cool world concept and an interesting premise, but the story fell apart under the author’s meandering scene structures and overwritten length. However, I did enjoy the raw hunk of narrative within the mess, so….? It’s one of those series that I think will improve with later installments.

Concept: ★★★★★
Pacing: ★ 1/2
Action vs. filler scenes: ★★ 1/2
World building: ★★★★

This is a reaction review, please see the book's description for the blurb.

When the Moon Hatched is one of those independently published novels that got picked up by a traditional publisher because of the grassroots marketing and hype. I'm not trying to knock it or call it out for this reason, but for those who are not plugged in to the publishing world updates and/or read this review after 2024 when the hype dies down, I think it is relevant information to have.

I have mixed feelings about independently published books. On the one hand, I LOVE THEM. It's a way for authors to publish books without the red tape, and it often leads to more freedoms and control for marginalized authors who can't get through the maze of the uptight publishing machine. It also leads to some really, really great books. But on the other hand... traditionally published books are vetted like nobody's business. They're ruthlessly edited for length, consistency, pacing, and more. They're shaped into final products, and there is (usually) a quality control element that ensures that the book you pick up in the store is going to work out for you on a mechanical level, if not an enjoyment level due to optional factors like tastes, writer's voice, and actual plot contents.

I unfortunately do not think that When the Moon Hatched is a final product like those traditionally published novels or some of my favorite independently published authors.

It has such a cool world: There's dragons in it, but dragon's aren't the be-all, end-all of the world building (something that tends to be the easy hook for other dragon books). Everyone is fae, with all the usual tropes that entails PLUS a fun elemental magic element that is truly unique involving the elemental gods. The customs, phrasings, and set up of this world is SO intriguing and immersive that I found myself immediately wishing for more fanart and spin-offs to the concept—it's a rich enough world to sustain that.

It also has a pretty decent hook: Raeve, our female protagonist, is an assassin-for-hire in the rebel underground who has deep secrets and a revenge vendetta that fuels her motivations—and she's about to find herself in the middle of a huge quest plot involving a hot dude. Yes, it's been done by many of the titans of romantasy and fantasy, but it's a solid hook and I like reading that kind of story.

So where did When the Moon Hatched fall apart?? Easy answer: the meandering length. This whopper 700+ page tome did not have enough raw plot/action to cover that kind of page count, so what could have been an unputdownable 400-500 page experience became a slog involving multiple sessions of "sigh, let me try to get through more of this today" energy that felt unfulfilling due to the sheer amount of filler content and repetitive scene structures in the novel.

Too many scenes with Raeve being the "mentally traumatized yet outwardly tough assassin who can't trust anyone" mixed with Kaan, the male love interest w/ harsh kindness and unbelievable magical strength who clearly knows more than Raeve and yet doesn't tell her the facts. (Such an annoying dichotomy that only carries you for the first few hundred pages before you lose all patience with the concept and just want the truth already so that the real plot can progress).

I was tolerant of this trope for the first 400 pages because a) it's in a lot of these stories and I don't mind it when it's done well and b) there was so much going on / getting explored in the world and plot that it wasn't a plot crutch, it was just waiting for its turn. That patience dissolved with prejudice when, in the second half of the novel, we sat in this loop of nonsense—repeated types of actions, repeated interactions with characters, odd side quests, barely fleshed out introductions of new POVs after an already established 2-POV structure—where the delays to information served...no real purpose. The weight of the payoff collapsed, and I was left frustrated, angry, and bored. Never a good combo for a reader!

HOWEVER, all that griping and negativity aside, I thought this tale had that extra "something" to it that makes for a good story. I think, with editing, this series could really turn into something epic. I am looking forward to the sequel and will definitely revisit this world again.